the Scarlet Letters

I now understand the value of enjoying each moment.

I understand how to be myself and feel at ease in all situations.

I really understand men in general, really getting what their needs are and what their operating systems run on, and specifically I really understand my man. I make him feel loved, cared for, respected, admired, supported, and encouraged to be his best possible self. That's gratifying to see.

I am extremely creative. I would use whatever were around me to make things no matter the situation. If I were in prison I'd whittle down a piece of fingernail into a needle and sew pictures with strands of my hair, or paint with extra blood and a brush made of collected pubic hair--cause you know how good those are! Kidding, or am I? No, I am. But not about the blood.

I love giving place/space and materials to kids to create real art, especially for their first time. It changed my life when someone did that for me and I know what it can mean to the right person.

I love the meals I cook now. It started out rough when I first left home ill equipped for life at 17. My first SAD dinner for myself was spaghetti with crunchy uncooked celery chunks in the plain tomato sauce (wtf?) But now the meals I make are quick to make yet so delicious no restaurant could attract me to it. I'd much rather be in my own kitchen 7 days a week, 3 meals per day.

I am 100% loving to my three cats now. I used to be reactive and impatient with small children and animals--I never should have been allowed to baby sit at age 14. And even as recently as 3 years ago I would get annoyed with my cat if she was being naughty when I was stressing on a deadline. But not now. Now I'm gentle and loving and find them to be nothing but sweet even when they are being naughty little buggers. I just melt and say awwwww. I think at 45 I'm finally emotionally mature enough to be a proper real mother of a human baby. Unfortunately, Paul and I have decided that would not be what we'd be doing in this life. One day I'll have a dog instead. (Not to equate the two experiences, you understand. It's a kind of substitute for my bio needs.)

I like how I only spend time with people who's lives I aspire to and whose values I share. I have less than zero patience for the people I know who've proven themselves to be insincere or shallow. My time is more precious than gold to me and small talk for no good reason can bite me.

I like my designs for print and feel that I kick ass in readable book design and clever print campaigns. I like how I can be boldly creative with printing, die-cutting, folding, illustration, etc. now after so many years of experience in the field. I like how thoughtful my designs are.

I like my art and my devotion to this project, Halfland. If I pull this off it'll be another example of a Sisyphusian task, only completed.