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February 7, 2008

monster month book release party - part 2

by sven at 7:00 am

reading Professor Ichbonnsen's letter
click on image to play clip (7min 22sec - 25 MB)

Professor Ichbonnsen couldn't make it to the Monster Month book release party -- but he was kind enough to send a letter to be read in his absence.

Watch the video to see me giving a dramatic reading -- (almost worth it for the audience participation alone!) -- or just go ahead and read the text below.

* * * * *

Thank you one and all for coming out tonight.

Your show of support -- not merely for this book which we have published, but for the cause of Cryptozoological Awareness -- means the world to me... And it may, ultimately, be that which saves our endangered world.

For decades, academics and politicians have scoffed at the mere suggestion that Monsters might exist on this planet with us. Narrow-mindedness, pure and simple... A comforting illusion, to believe that all things that can be known already are known.

Those of us who dare to imagine, dare to seek, and by raw courage dare to discover -- we face this tremendous prejudice every day of our lives. And so I want thank you again... For I understand quite well what the personal cost of attending this event may be for those of you here tonight. Ostracism by friends and family.... An FBI file with your name on it... Or perhaps even worse...

Yes, I say "even worse" -- because I have recently discovered that denial of the existence of Monsters is in fact being spearheaded by a well-funded yet shadowy conspiracy of unknown parties!

As those of you who have already read my book know, a serious attempt on my life -- and on that of my trustworthy assistant Scarlet -- was made while we were recently traveling though India. We still do not know who hired the one-eyed pilot, or how the hideous mutants, which we were delivered unto, figure into the conspiracy's far-ranging plot...

But, since then we have suffered, yes, another assassination attempt. And though we escaped with our lives -- I have every reason to believe that this was an act of the same shadowy forces, trying to silence our Cause.

The details of the plot are almost too tedious to relate... A rare and poisonous snake, secretly deposited in our hotel room -- a species which, I freely admit, I have always been quite eager to see in the flesh -- but not within the confines of my own bed.

You will be glad to know that with quick thinking, lightning reflexes, and the sacrifice of very tasty ham and banana sandwich, both Scarlet and I escaped unharmed.

Unfortunately, we know now that our assailants are very close behind... And so once again, we go into hiding... Traveling by night, using forged identities, staying in the homes of individuals who belong to a vast underground network of Cryptozoological Freedom Fighters.

You, too, my friends may be called to the Cause! Whatever you can do -- whatever small thing, to help spread the word -- please, take that step.

For our own safety, and for the safety of all involved in producing this event, Scarlet and I cannot risk being in Portland tonight, where we will certainly be expected. So I ask you now: Take our place -- be where we cannot be -- be that voice of reason in a world that denies the truth.

For the sake of the defenseless Monsters whose habitats are being lost --

For the sake of the defenseless Humans, who have unwittingly encroached upon the territories of carnivorous Monsters --

For the sake of Monsters and Humans alike, defending our shared world against invasive species from Mars and beyond --

Join me in making a Revolution of Cryptozoological Awareness!

Thank you. Please enjoy the rest of your evening at the Monster Month book party.

Professor Ichbonnsen
January 31, 2008

but wait... who's that?!

posted by sven | February 7, 2008 7:00 AM | categories: bestiary, exhibits & events